One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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