Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
