he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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