i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
