we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
