True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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