i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Acid is not a monday night drug
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
