I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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