were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Too much gin, very little bucket
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
