what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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