a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
