dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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