Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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