grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
