can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
