I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize
