he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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