I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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