Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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