She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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