the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
