If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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