i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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