Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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