sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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