And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
