I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
