Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
