I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
