So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
