your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
