Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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