people are starting to question the shark bite story
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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