My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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