Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
