Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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