I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
