So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
