Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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