So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
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On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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