Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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