Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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