i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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