i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
