with your own penis?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
