Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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