Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
