Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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