You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
