He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
