hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
