I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
