you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
