He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
