What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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