Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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