Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
