I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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