great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
