i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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