he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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