i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
