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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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